(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

FAVE DISNEY CHARACTERS : ONE KING : EMPEROR KUZCO
Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic, huh? Well, you’ll never believe this, but that llama you’re looking at was once a human being. And not just any human being. That guy was an emperor. A rich, powerful ball of charisma. Oh, yeah! This is his story. Well, actually, my story. That’s right… I’m that llama. The name is Kuzco… Emperor Kuzco. I was the world’s nicest guy and they ruined my life for no reason. Oh, is that hard to believe? Look, I’ll tell you what. You go back a ways, you know, before I was a llama, and this will all make sense.

scjacka:

Speaking of amazing fictional ladies

thecutestofthecute:

"He was so tired that he had to be carried home"

thecutestofthecute:

"He was so tired that he had to be carried home"

Quotes from awesome female characters:
↳ ❝ No woman should ever suffer at the hands of men. ❞ - Sara Lance from Arrow
beartreadway:

Canada by iphone
Bear Treadway

beartreadway:

Canada by iphone

Bear Treadway

pxnsive:

anxietyanthologies:

leeeyuck:

Vancouver: Never before have I been in a city that was as able and eager to strike up a conversation.

I heart my city.

Reminds me of West Philly…

officialnatasharomanoff:

ichangemyurlmorethanmyunderwear:

wholockedmydoor:

I don’t know what the best part of this photo is

i do

godfuckingdammit

officialnatasharomanoff:

ichangemyurlmorethanmyunderwear:

wholockedmydoor:

I don’t know what the best part of this photo is

i do

godfuckingdammit

Jake Peralta + Canada

oliver queen: a summary.

fetusinfetu:

Biloela — Wild Cockatoos, Leila Jeffreys

© US